Where to begin? The fact that someone is THIS ignorant of the Bible is astounding. It is also embarrassing. How do we let this happen? Or are we simply so out numbered that we can't reach them all?
Jesus would be fiercely Independent. He was.
Jesus would love love, no matter who its between. Except that "I and my Father are One" thing and the fact that God pretty clearly spelled out in Leviticus that "love" between two men, and by extension, two women was BAD! Other than that, sure....
Jesus would support welfare and welfare reform. Jesus didn't seem to be waiting around for the government to do much of anything...other than kill him. Paul said something about "If a man does not work he shall not eat"...I guess that would be welfare reform. Now, as believers, we should be giving to the poor, but I don't think that's what she means.
Jesus would be against capital punishment. Really? The guy who spoke of "weeping and gnashing of teeth" and of a place where "the fire is not quenched and the worm does not die" and a lake of fire would be against the guilty being punished? Huh.
Jesus would understand there are varying degrees of life. In a way, she's right. There is Dead In Your Sins and Redeemed. Again, I don't think that was what she was talking about.
Jesus would appreciate style, but not fashion. And yet Jesus wore a costly robe. A King's robe even. He cares about neither. Thoughts and intents of the heart are more his er, style.
Jesus would value education. Yes, Jesus would think that sending your kids to public school to be taught that, at best, He didn't exist would be a wonderful idea. I mean, what's the kid's soul compared to being a good drone?
Jesus would protect the environment. Like the fig tree He cursed? In all his teachings, Jesus, nor his disciples, never once mentioned "Save the Whales". Subdue, yes, be wise, yes, sacrifice people to protect a Spotted Wood Owl...no. Now, there is some admonishment not to be cruel to animals but they still taste good.
Jesus would have friendly rapport with Muhammad, Buddah, Confuscious, etc. If by "friendly rapport" she means casting them into the lake of fire then, yes. When he was here in the flesh, he might have talked to them, warned them of the fate ahead but he would not have exchanged high fives with them.
Jesus would befriend a Jew. A good Jewish boy having Jewish friends? Like the 12 Apostles?!?!?! Like Lazarus and his sisters?
Jesus would enjoy sex. While he was involved in creating sex and declaring that it was "good", at least indirectly, and declaring, through Paul, that the marriage bed is undefiled, no he wouldn't. That whole fornication/adultery thing. The church is his bride.
Jesus would understand the advantages of socialism. One could make an argument for this one. The early church did share everything in common. Except that the church did it willingly. The one example of people doing it against their will didn't end well. Socialism, an authority forcing people to share by taking away their property, NEVER ends well. The fruits of socialism are atheism and murder...things not too high on Jesus' commandments.
Jesus would be scared of guns. Why? If he could call a legion of angels to help him, if he could simply tell a tree to die and it did, if he could RISE FROM THE DEAD, why would a gun bother him at all? Swords, staves, and spears never did.
Jesus would impeach Bush and imprison Cheney. This is just ignorant beyond belief. No matter what your view on this administration, or any other one, Jesus didn't care about the Roman Empire and their atrocities. He came for souls, not governments. As much as we Christians like to think that Republican=Christian, it does not. Does the Republican party at least pay lipservice to ideas that are the teachings of the Bible? Yes. And it ends there. God installs who He will on the thrones of this world, so in some way, Bush was ordained by God. Of course, so was Clinton. :)
Jesus would not encourage hate. By "hate" she means telling people they are in danger of hell. We don't call telling our kids not to play in traffic "hate", but tell someone that they're in sin and need a savior...that's not just mean, but hateful. So, I guess when Jesus called men to repent, he was just committing a hate crime.
Jesus would not judge a man by his color, religion, sexuality, etc. Color? No. Religion? "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light. No man comes to the Father except by me." What exactly do you think that means? Sexuality? "Thou shall not lie with a man as thou would a woman". Not a lot of gray area there. A man's deeds are what his is accused by.
Jesus would not be a capitalist. He was selling his carpentry work, wasn't he? Again, he wasn't really concerned by governmental ideologies. The idea that a thief should work with his hands to give to the poor, that no work= no food, and Paul working on tents even while preaching shows that God is not opposed to the idea of selling the fruits of your labor. There's no mention of price fixing either.
Jesus would not watch MTV or FOXNEWS. It's really kind of hard to argue with. He probably wouldn't watch ANY TV, not even PTL.
Jesus would not support war, but he would support troops. Politicizing a man who cared nothing about politics (Render unto Caesar...). It's recorded at least twice in the New Testament that either Jesus or Peter had an encounter with a Roman Soldier. Neither time does it record the soldiers being told to quit being soldiers. That's a telling fact. See, soldiers kill people and break things. We call that war. Not only does Jesus never tell a soldier to not go to war, God repeatedly send Israel off to war in the OT. Of course, a good number of those times are after a period of sin and idolatry by Israel but...
And there we go. Post Number One.